DAY.EIGHT> Re-drawn.

I knew this was going to be a late post. Sorry to those avid post-watchers. You are few yet many to me. If that makes sense. It probably doesn't. It's about 2am right now, I'm looking forward to the little shut-eye that I will get. So next time I go to Stony Brook to "hang out" with people - I need to realize that everyone is in class. That's ok though - Border's bookstore has always welcomed me with open arms. And to Border's I went searching for a book to capture my soul and take me away or perhaps dig deep and challenge me. Challenge me it did! I'm low on funds so I couldn't buy it, its the whole "no job" thing. Gets the best of me sometimes. This just hit me while I was driving to Stony Brook. A lot of people have been asking me why I'm taking this time off. The best "common" answer I can give is simply that I can. And that I need to discover what else is out there. I started thinking about all the time we put into work and school and then all the time left for ourselves and this is where my days lesson stemmed....

Before I get into that I do want to point out something that struck my eye while reading Donald Miller's "Searching for God knows what". This is paraphrased in some of my own words from his book and I don't wish to add much onto it already because I feel like it is self explanatory. Here goes. Ready? "[we have a basic human need to discover our identity. It is rooted in our friendships, relationships, in what we do and the content of our conversations. It seems like every human has a need for something outside ourselves to tell us who we are or what we are all about. We lift ourselves up because it is what gives us our value. But it is not going to be others that grant that to us. It is going to be and CAN ONLY be God ]"

Back to what I was saying - we give and give and give part of ourselves to work/school/WHATEVER else! Here is where we run into the problem - if we keep giving don't we eventually run out or burn out? what are we doing to recover that part of ourselves that we continue to give away? How do we recapture that? How are we okay with losing that? We are losing ourselves and not feeling it. We are trapped in a hopeless whirlwind of solitude and we won't even try to reach out. Slowly disappearing we refuse to be re-drawn. We refuse to be re-drawn.