DAY.FORTY-ONE>It's a bird, it's a plane... no.. its SUPERMAN!

Still alive and kicking, I'm sure you were wondering. I've been a little lost lately mainly in eager anticipation of what lies ahead but in doing so I feel like I started to rush things a little bit and am now caught in sort of a limbo. The future now seems more exciting than the present. What a scary thought! To think that I'm missing out on the beauty that surrounds me right now only to wait in eagerness of what's coming up!?! That can't be right. I think I've been missing the point for the last two weeks. I've been talking to some great people, going some great places and making sure my days are chock full of stuff that keep me awake and moving but while doing this I kind of felt the energy get drained out of my system big time. I wondered why that was and then I realized I was Superman.

Ok, maybe I don't have super-human strength, the x-ray vision, or the ability to fly (haven't tested that one yet though honestly), but Superman gets his strength from the yellow sun. And I think that's where I get mine too. I think the sun gives way to life for me. It gives me reason to keep running to keep believing, striving, and living. Stop me when you've figured out the metaphor. But on the other hand it really IS that simple - being outside revitalizes my soul. Re-enegerizes my mind. So all this to say/ask...

What does it for you? What is something you can do or where is somewhere you can go anytime of day and you feel refreshed? I feel like we all have something in mind. And if you don't, I really believe it is something seriously worth considering. After all, the best path to self-discovery is self-examination right? And maybe by asking a few of the easier questions, you will find answers that will save you time in the long run. You have had the longest day - you have no recollection of how the hours have passed by so quickly. What is your escape? Do you call it a night? Or do you choose to live the next few hours out and make them your best? Don't let days pass you by without even a fleeting thought of what more you can get out of that day.

Squeeze the life out of EVERY single day!!

DAY.TWENTY-SEVEN> Cleetus must die

I got lost for the past 6 days. That is why there are no posts. I found myself today. I know, I'm happy too. We can learn so much about ourselves just by listening to other people. As I sit down and talk to old friends there seems to be a new attitude that has changed the way I listen. I think sometimes the best of friends need not say a word but listen intently. I have been listening to the pain in voices with my heart and it breaks. I have been fascinated by the life my peers and closest friends live. Most are content and are happy. There are a few that I listen to however, more acquaintances than friends, that have a disillusioned life that tells them they are doing just fine when it is so clearly the opposite. What are we listening with? Let's listen with our hearts not with our heads. It makes a difference.

I have spent more $ on my car than it is worth - probably twice the value at which I had originally bought it. It broke down again a few days ago. I am currently experiencing life without a car and with little money. I was stressed for a few hours. And I didn't like it even a little bit so I took a trip to Starbucks (I was driven), which is my favorite place in the world. It's really not Starbucks itself. I believe it to be the cafe-type environment that I tend to fall in love with. Something about the fact that I can read books while enjoying a hot latte in the midst of at least 10-20 people doing the same thing but in all different types of situations really makes me think about a lot. And it sure does give me peace.

I thought about it for a while and it went back to living a day at a time. Going back to the very basics! the root of it all! Learning to trust and have faith like I have never had before! When I thought about it that way I got excited. It's confusing but it is all going to workout. We have times like this to prepare us for the next big thing. We have times like this because we are being strengthened and tested. I want to come out tried and true. It's scary. It's stressful at times. It really makes you questions decisions you have made. But no regrets. I choose to live my life that way. It's simple and lends itself to an eternal peace, joy, and satisfaction. Going back to a previous post - this is a storm. I'm going to dance through it...

PS. Cleetus is my car.

DAY.TWENTY-ONE> Let's give 'em somethin' to talk about!

Sanjaya Malakar's hit cover "Let's give 'em somethin' to talk about" took the country for an emotional roller coaster. Why? I really could not tell you. For some reason this song was stuck in my head today and so I am writing about it. Well, not really but just one line. Today was a day that was draining. Meeting up with old friends is great. When conversation is intense every single time, it is draining. But fulfilling. I was thinking more about the stuff we talk about everyday - listening in on other peoples conversations on the subway, at Starbucks, on lines (what? you do it too!) - it amazes me at how little we care to find out about each other. And when we do, I'm stunned at how many people talk about school and work like it is their life.

I feel like we are trying to hide something. I'm not sure if it is shame, pride, some type of embarrassment that keeps us hidden in the dark but we are always dodging the bullet. We are scared to talk about real things. We stick to safety topics like cars and sports and weather and school and work and other people. These topics are safe. What are the risky ones? Well self, mind, body, soul. You know, the stuff that stays with you. the stuff that affects you. The stuff that actually matters. All this involves vulnerability though. something we are not willing to be. That's fine.

I'm challenged to give them something to talk about. I'm curious to see what would happen not if we stopped asking questions, but we started asking the RIGHT questions. What would it look like if I wanted to know what you thought about this idea. Or if you'd be willing to help with this event. What are you going through right now? What are you pursuing? What do you hate a lot? What do you love a lot? Where have these questions gone? I'm not too sure.

I think the world would be more interesting. More transparent, for sure. And I think this would make people love other people more. Yea, maybe one of the key factors in being able to love someone is being open with them and having them being open with you and knowing you won't judge. People are scared about being judged. I'm not too sure why - it's like their peers are their jury. What the jury says goes. It's not supposed to be like that. I think we should learn how to love more. I think its the answer to world peace. I think it could work.

DAY.TWENTY> New York, New York

A day unlike no other. Set apart from the rest. One place that can really make my day shine and illuminate it literally and figuratively. Really no place in the world like it (from what I've seen so far).. They say if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. I believe that to be true. When people say "the city" it's obvious which one they are talking about. No other place quite measures up to New York. A melting pot in its own for its cultures, traditions, languages, employment, food, and adventure. Millions jam packed into a few avenues and streets! Truly this atmosphere must be created due to that very fact. As I stepped out of my car parked on 2nd ave I had to get to the very corner to even realize this. I was there. I hadn't been in a while like this at night but there I was. Looking up to the never-ending buildings and shielding my eyes from the lights that line the streets that need no streetlights. I was being welcomed by the air which at 8pm was cooler and crisper than it had been all day but was just the way I liked it.

I wondered if everyone had a place like this. What do you think yours is? A place where you can go and get away if only for a little while. A place that welcomes you and you feel like you're on top of the world - maybe that you can go and think or just let loose and let your worries slip away. I think we need that. I think it is important that we know this about ourselves. Sounds strange but isn't it important to know these things about ourselves? We might never think of it. But I'd like to know what makes me tick so I can watch out for those things. What makes me happy, so I can pursue those. And where I'd go to let go! Can you answer these questions?

DAY.NINETEEN> Wasted.

I just recently re-joined the gym and it has been great. Waking up feeling like I have a bag of bricks on top of me and having limited range of motion for 2 days after is the way to go. Certainly a feeling I have missed. It is actually the only thing I did today aside from dinner with a good friend. As I barely got through my day I started thinking about what I was doing that day and for once, I felt it did not amount to much. Ever have those days where you feel like all you do is just sit there? Or watch TV or what have you? Well I started wondering about that and then all the things that I had been learning and the ideas and my day certainly did not resonate.

How many times have we heard the phrase "Live each day as it is your last?" Hey, I'm all for that methodology/way of life whatever you want to call it, but do we mean it? What would it look like if we really did live each day as if it were our last? I think we would have a new zest for life. I think we'd enjoy the simple things while appreciating other people and our surroundings a whole lot more. I think that it would show us that life really is short. I know people say "you only live once" and use that as an excuse for all the crap they find themselves doing. I'll promote that saying but with an addendum - "you only live once, live right". Not too far-fetched is it? I don't think so.

Maybe I'm crazy (it might be so). But I don't believe in wasted days. I think the last thing I ever want to share with someone is saying that I wasted today. I did nothing. I was selfish - I kept to myself. I guess what I am struggling with is that if we have the potential to call everyday "successful" or to see the beauty in it or in other people then why don't we? If we have the chance to take a risk, then let's take it. A new challenge? Opportunity? Friendship? I'm on board. I'm not about to live the rest of my life as if I'm wasted...

DAY.EIGHTEEN> Hello, Zdravo, Hej, Xin Chao, Hola, Bonjour!!

So I have realized that I've been thrown from the world of retail - from seeing hundreds sometimes thousands of people on a daily basis... to seeing about 10-20. MAN that can really play mind games with you. I start talking to myself sometimes. Just kidding.. Hmm.. Anyways, amazing thing about retail is that it forces you to be a people person. One has no choice but to speak. Speaking I think is one of the most incredible things we are capable of. To be able to put words together and communicate to each other what we want, how we feel, offer guidance and probably a few more not so nice ones. I was at Starbucks on line, and one older man in a leather jacket in front of me. Even with a leather jacket I realize you can still have a calmly appearance to you and a gentle look. Not that I was looking... But this woman who was probably in her 50's although the point of the surgeries and the botox was aimed at making her look around 40 (she wasn't fooling me!).. she goes ahead and asks the man a question and then proceeds to go right up to the barista and order her drink. Possible reactions? Numerous. I looked at the man and smiled as he remarked on the arrogance of some people. I agreed and added that people have the capability of being extremely impolite. We shook hands, introduced ourselves and continued to talk for ten minutes about anything. It was good but it really got me thinking..

What if we have found ourselves in an age of complete social exclusivity and disconnectivity? I think its amazing how we can pass by people and not say a word. As if we were from two different planets or as if we acknowledged the invisible social barriers that trapped us from one another. Where is the rule that says the man in the suit cannot associate with the teen in the t-shirt? What's the rule that says ANYBODY can't talk to ANYBODY?? I think we are a scarred species in that we have taken for granted the amount of social communication possible and reduced it to socio-economic statures and money, and business. It amazes me to watch people following the theory "Look out for #1".. that is to say, look out for yourself. I bet that person is dead. Why do we always look out for ourselves? What about our brother, our sister - no, not blood related. The brother you pass on the street, the sister that pours you that cup of delicious coffee. What happened to our race? Why is it so hard to simply say hello anymore? I IMPLORE you to start up a conversation this week. Not up for it? Okay - say hello to someone, in whatever language you want!! What do you possibly have to lose? You've said hello and possibly brightened up somebody's day. I'm not too sure what else would be worth but I'm certain that I have nothing to lose.

Search with me, let's try it.

DAY.SEVENTEEN> Twenty-two thousand books

I was at Stony Brook recently and first of all man, do I miss that place. I've always said "college was great, but classes always seemed to get in the way." Many people would yell at me for that statement. Like my mom. But I found a certain peace at Stony Brook that has only recently found its way back to me. Or maybe the other way around, not the point. I was around a little earlier than I needed to be and so I stopped at the place I always stop at to kill time - Borders. I know there is some kind of battle between which bookstore is better (well, in some world there is..) Borders or Barnes? They each have distinct difference. They both carry books though, and that is always a good thing. Winner? You decide. So as I was sifting through the books realizing I don't have money to buy one right now (that's OK, I'm in the middle of about three separate ones) I picked one up and then it was as if picking that book up made me remember to stop. So I stopped. And I took in the moment and my surroundings and the people and it was cool. I saw people drooling over recipe handbooks, the intellectuals thinking deeply into the book they had just picked up and that was it for then because it really wasn't too crowded. I noticed the kids making a scene in the child play area and then I noticed something bigger - I was in a book store. I know, I know.. amazing.

But as I looked around I saw (yes, books..) but thousands upon thousands and i wondered just how many books were in this store. And so I started wondering about how many pages were torn, drafts edited, tears shed, wisdom spread, money spent, and ink printed to get all these books into circulation. And it brought me to the idea of the authors. I can see them now sitting there on a stool composing a story of what was important to their life. Each one offering hope and promise in the fact that he or she could offer something unique. Something different. With thousands of books wouldn't some repeat? No, not so much because the author knows or knew that every single person has a story. No two stories or perspectives were going to be alike. Each one of those books have been read and in being read, have in some small way touched someones heart, changed someones life, taught someone something new, or took that person to a place they have been longing to go whether and for right now could only go in their imagination. But that's okay because I believe imagination is one of God's greatest gifts to us.

Everybody has a story to tell. It bothers me to my very core that some feel like not telling theirs. And it frustrates me that we are not too curious either. Each book read becomes a part of you, with every story shared your mind is refreshed, renewed, or even challenged. We have stories to share. We also have ears to listen. There are about 22,000 undergrads at Stony Brook. How many are at your school? How many at work? How many stories do you know? I am so sorry for you if it's just your own. Let it not be true.

DAY.SIXTEEN> What's my age again?

My eyes burn through this screen that pushes back with its dim glow. My fingers trip over keys as I try to form words and thoughts without getting distracted or falling asleep. It has been a day of walking with thousands of people not knowing who any of them are. A day of noticing what irks some people and what makes others laugh. It's been a day of truly knowing what Yankee pride was as I attended, with my brother the Yankee Parade in NYC this morning. Hundreds of thousands gathered to celebrate the fact that a sports team won a competition. Don't get me wrong, I am not underplaying it. But being there, seeing literally hundreds of thousands of people was simply overwhelming. Sick days must have shot up today schools wondering why. Work places planned a Monday-Thursday work week in hopes of the inevitable actually coming to life.

I saw with my little brother on that subway train starting at 179th st station, moving towards the city getting more jam packed as each stop rolled on. We talked and laughed and took comedic relief in the actions and words of others as well. Strolling in were children from age 1 and older. "Die-hard" fans ranged from 10-70 years of age. A truly incredible script must have been written for these many to show. A new generation was in the making and as we sat on our multi-colored seats and talked about life. The conversation led me to say that a lot of times especially in high school and college I felt a little older than I was and now that I am out I feel sort of younger, I asked my bro what he thought and he replied "I don't really feel an age..."

How simple! What if age really is just a number? What if it is really not good for anything? What if we, for years and years been letting age be what defines us? When's the last time you said "I'm too old for this?" Recently, I bet. What if that wasn't true? Who tells you that you are too old? I think life would be a lot more enjoyable if we didn't think about what we were and weren't allowed to enjoy at this spot in our lives. I'm not sure when that became okay to feel old or feel young but I'm guessing more people want to feel younger than older and hey I say one of the only ways to do this is to embrace the fact that age is just a number and continue to do the things YOU want to and not let it be determined by some social class division that gives you a number, almost as to tell you where you need to be when you are 18. 20. 25. 40... and so on.

Put down the calendar, forget about your birthday and start celebrating everyday of your life, and you start not caring so much about age and more about the fact that you are loving the heck out of life right NOW. How dare we put limits on life.

DAY.FIFTEEN> Keeping Jack in His Box

Today was a pretty cool day I think. Something that has happened over the last few days I have noticed is that at Day One, I would go ahead and write about things that I learned - nothing has changed except for one thing which has. The past few days, I have picked up on so much more than one lesson a day. Some I go looking for, others find me and it is simply amazing what newness life has to offer when we offer ourselves to it. As I go to get into my car, my first breath makes me realize and truly capture the environment around me - sort of an empty road, driveways indicating people are at work, the quiet telling me that children are at school, and the coldness that sinks to my lungs shows me that indeed it is 9am on an average fall morning. I was speaking to one of my friends earlier this week and only had a chance to reflect on it today. I was thinking about a lot today and this idea kept popping into my head. We were talking about taking chances on new ideas and I thought to myself - isn't it cool how we has humans can formulate new ideas? I think that is remarkable that with everything that has already been done that we can think of newer things and more creative things. Anyways, point being - what if we ran with it?

I think we think inside the box too much. Okay, yes this is a cliche the whole "think outside the box" thing right? Eh. Do we even know what that means? I think the size of the box is certainly different for everyone. I think the actual box represents a certain train of thought that we all share. I think we each have our closed-off views of reality and normalcy. This presents a problem to creative genius. It presents a problem to the solution. It gives us the problem of mediocrity. It's time to let loose.

I want to ask - I know we all have ideas. Why are we so afraid of letting these ideas out? Why are we stopping the flow of these ideas from our heads to our hands? Are we afraid that they will not work? Let it not be so! Ideas for non-profits, for charitable events, even ideas to help the hungry, lend a hand to the sick, the broken-hearted even. What is the last idea you let slip your mind? When is the last time you stepped up and made a difference? Why are we so naive to think that we can't make a difference with what we have to offer?

The one thing that I need to say is that if we are looking for something in life and know what it is, KNOW that in the end it could be worth it - and KNOW that we need to grab that something and hold onto it. We cannot be afraid - there is too much at stake. Let Jack out of his box.

PS. "Jack" is your idea.

DAY.FOURTEEN> Ripple me this.

I felt weird today. I'm not too sure why, it's not a feeling that I am used to - it's like something in the universe was a little off and everything around me was trying to get me to realize it. But like I said, the past days were overwhelming. I've come to have this time to write and share with you beautiful people to be very consistent in my life. Almost like breathing, well, not really. But getting closer! As I continued my drive to Sturbridge and then back home to New York I realized that I could drive forever. In fact, I sort of want to drive right now. Time almost stands still as I drive now which is great because when I first started out, the clock was my biggest enemy. And it was a small clock, too.

I feel like something was supposed happen today or going to happen soon that will be a defining moment in life maybe not just for me, but for all of us. Maybe there really is something that's going to change. When I was sitting next to the lake in Sturbridge, I saw geese floating on the water, I saw leaves dying and falling off branches, some into water as if water would give them a second chance. I saw a mini acorn fall from a tree branch, way high up and flat onto the water causing ripples. These ripples would not stop for anyone. Once they had started from the middle they would continue until they had done their absolute best to get as far as they could've gotten. See where I am going?

Here it is - I think our lives from what we already know from general knowledge and movies like "The Butterfly Effect", is that the smallest motion, the smallest change, the smallest action can make the biggest difference in how life plays out. There is a quote that has been changed numerous times but goes something like this "The flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil can set off a tornado in Texas." Interesting right? Look into it - notice how true or not true it is but understand the meaning behind it. I think we need to be living a little more reckless. Not with the stupid things we do but in the faith that we have. We claim we are not worried and that faith can move mountains but where is the outpouring of that faith?

A reckless faith will bring nations to their knees.

All its going to take is us, as the little acorns to set this off. It's not a fairytale, its not fiction. It is real life. It is a total disregard of ourself in sacrifice for the betterment of other people. A reckless faith means an unconditional love, a sense of urgency, an open mind, and a heart that is willing to listen and serve. We need to stop serving ourselves and realize as Paul tells the Philippians, "regard others as higher than yourselves..."

DAY.THIRTEEN> God.

Boston harbor is a nice place. People are really friendly, maybe cause they are mainly tourists. Boston itself is pretty laid back though. I learned it is home to over 70 different colleges/universities and because of this - the night life rocks - everywhere I looked, college guys and gals. It makes for a competitive yet friendly and relatable environment I feel. Soon as I left Boston I headed over to Sturbridge, MA. This is a place that really took me for a spin. Lying here I am still a bit overwhelmed by the effect this place had on me. It is as if I spent a year in solitude at the base of the water as I sat on the rocks and took it all in. There was much to take in. While I tried to capture my thoughts and feelings in the amount and the quality of the pictures that I took, it was still inadequate. No words could really describe the natural life that was sprouting out of the ground into grass, trees, and forming a gigantic lake. It was perfect. Perfect. That's when I started thinking..

Something has been bothering me. It is deep rooted in my heart, whatever it is. All I can think of is "what are we missing?" We had to be missing something. Christian life seemed too easily lived by the majority and life outside that seemed too simple and pointless. How could I have missed something that was so clearly right in front of me? It's black and white - life, that is. God is a God of perfection. He doesn't leave room for mess-ups or questionable areas. There is no way but His way.

But see, if that is true - then we are lost out of our minds!! We have convinced ourselves that the bare essentials of "living out" a Christian life are enough but there is NO WAY that is true. We are not living it out we are barely even living! God demands much from us and honestly, we just fall short. He requires that sort of perfection because that is how He originally created us - perfect, in His image. So I GOTTA ask - what are we living for?? Why does $ seem not right to have? Why does giving some of our time not seem like enough?

Is it really possible to live this life out of ourselves? It is a literal translation of Luke 9:23 "[DENY yourself, take up your cross DAILY and follow ME!]"

I gotta ask - can't we see? His heart is ACHING for more of ours.

DAY.TWELVE> These shoes ain't meant for hiking

If I were to write a beginners book for hiking my first two rules would have to be 1. Bring water and 2. Buy the right sneakers. don't be wearing sketchers. Needless to say, I learned the hard way. But I guess even that is life - a learning progression. What a day in VT - I'm not going to bore you with details but I can tell you that I drove for hours and stopped at every single spot I wanted to see or get a closer look at. I can confidently say that I took it ALL in, and it was beautiful. From rivers to lakes, to streams and valleys. The sky bright blue bursting with radiant sun and then setting to reveal the lightest array of simple and unusual colors. I saw it all. The evergreens who refused to give way even while they know it's the end for the neighbors and the deer who looked so confused as if she had lost her way in her own backyard. I found a park bench donated by the nice (and talented) kids at the high school in 1965 sitting in the middle of one trail off the path in the best location. I sat on that bench and watched the stream of water flow through the shallow valley. And here I thought and wondered as time seemed to pass, but in a way that was peaceful and almost elegant.

What if we had all the time in the world? What if we hopelessly packed out our days just to feel like we are doing something important? What if instead of doing that, we took the time with the things that we did do? I am at peace at this steam as it flows nonstop but gently, easing its way on the sides of rocks, under logs, carrying fallen leaves from one end to the other some being trapped by natures arms. We all work so hard and carry such a heavy load. What if we sat by and set that load down but if only for a while. What if we believed, like water, we could get through anything? I don't think we need to live such busy lives. In busy-ness we lose the part of our selves that captures awe and that imagines and creates. We lose the sense of adventure and exploration that comes with us free when we are born but that we painlessly and thoughtlessly separate as we grow older.

DAY.ELEVEN> Hit the road, jack

The end of TBE is here and we depart. All day I can think of nothing else but getting on that road and continuing on to Vermont. I'm still not too sure what I'm doing there but I know I'm excited for whatever it is. Saying goodbyes were easy when you know you will speak soon. And so I take off on a scaled down version of my "Alaskan adventure" (reference to "Into the Wild" - if you haven't seen it, you should). Driving has always been fun for me but the first half hour was somewhat painful. I didn't know what it was but suddenly anticipation to arrive was knocking at the door and I can't believe I let it in! Anticipation will ruin you if not handled the right way. How did I handle it? I kicked it out. I started thinking and realizing more and more that carpe diem was old news. Those who know me, know what I'm talking about. It has been about carpe momento for the longest time but I was struggling with it!! Seizing the MOMENT - living for NOW - taking joy in the JOURNEY!! Where had I gone wrong?? I realized I wasn't enjoying myself because thoughts about what I'm going to do next and what road to take next and all that unnecessary stuff started filling my head. NOT TODAY JACK.

I cleared my mind of all that stuff and realized something. If we are living for this minute we are currently in right now nothing else matters. But at the same time I realized something else. IT. IS. HARD! I knew it was never easy but this trip was really making me practice what it meant to live one moment at a time. That's the trick though - practice. It's not a skill that is picked up in a day, but a lifestyle that is perfected over time.

I kept driving, and all of a sudden I was there. The next 2 1/2 hours felt like nothing and I was almost sad to arrive. But hey, Bennington, VT - here I am! Pretty cool feeling being in another state with nobody you know for miles around you. Makes you appreciate your loved ones a lot more. Also really nice trying new foods and meeting people with Vermontian accents. Is that a word?

DAY.TEN> This little light of mine..

The minute I stepped foot outside it was about 8:30am. I was hit with a crisp autumny-winter breeze unmatched by any I had felt all year. The wind was sure of itself and had nothing to hide. The rain however, was afraid to show itself to the hundreds of people that still chose to be outdoors and came down ever so slightly as if it was trying to pour but more than three quarters of the water was being stopped halfway. Now TBE is always an amazing time that needs to be 4 days but is packed into a day and a half. Everything happens today. This morning as I walked towards the lake I see hundreds of students gathered around in prayer. What an awesome thing. Who does that? We believe it .. we act on it. Remember?

Throughout the day there are so many things to learn, so many names to remember, and so many responsibilities to be fulfilled. I've never been great with names but within my group, I picked up the names in a snap. Maybe it was the air. Or not. As I looked around I saw faces a glow with love for each other and a special kind of love for God. It got me thinking.. I'll get to that in a second. Imagine a community - closed off from the outside world (in the middle of nowhere) that said hi to each other in the morning, stopped and introduced themselves randomly, engaged in deep conversations, and loved you for who you are no matter where you were from or what your story is. A community where there is no judging but everyone is constantly looking up to God as to thank Him for being awesome. This is TBE, and I imagine that it is a little piece of heaven.

So I was thinking - why is it that we can be so ON FIRE on place and then go back to "real life" and then be put out so quickly? I think its the people we surround ourselves with but also the distractions that we let enter into our lives. Would you rather live a dim life or a life that shines so brightly that everybody else gets curious and tries to figure out why you are burning? I'd like to shine - here's the thing. We all have a fire within us that can burn, a light that can really shine. The problem is that we hide it!! What a stupid thing to do. Why are we trying to contain a fire? Instead of letting it catch on? (It's a good fire!) Why do we continue to hide this little light..."

DAY.NINE> 2x3x2 = 12 (aka: Dancing with me)

Listening to the alarm on my phone go off after only getting about 3 hours of sleep is one thing. When after 3 hours of sleep it is only 5am, it’s a whole different story. Needless to say, I skipped my run this morning and convinced myself that I needed an extra 45 minutes of sleep. I’m easily convinced. Trudging out of bed I make my way to my car within a half hour and before I even realize, its 6:30am and I'm on the road to The Big Event (TBE) - (IV's tri-state weekend retreat). My car decides it is going to give way by 7am and I'm stuck in an odd predicament. Waiting impatiently at my mechanic's shop wondering when he will show up - as if mechanics have nothing better to do at 7am. After all is said and done I find myself wondering if I should skip this weekend entirely - after all, turns out I wouldn't have my car back till 1. I pay up and 2. about 5pm! As the day progresses I do wonder why something like this would happen and then I realized something that maybe I have been talking about but have not been putting into action. I think we tend to do this a lot. We can believe something firmly but when we act on it, its with half our hearts. I wonder why that is.. Maybe it's just easier to talk than act. yea, that has to be it.

Moving on, I got an email that day from an old friend describing her current situation to me. What I'm about to say was not even the focal point but made me think - what if we paid attention to details a little bit more? So much truth behind the big picture. The sun is nothing without the sky. The sky is just blue without the clouds. The details - a quote from the email was "it's not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain" Enough said? We can't expect anything from life. Sure we can set goals and all that "normal" stuff but I think we are measured as people and really watered and expected to grow from life's uncertainties and those random situations that we never thought possible. Learning how to dance through every situation will give you an unheard of outlook in life and I would love to see a world where that was possible. Dance with me...

12 hours later than scheduled, I arrived at TBE. What an awesome ride up..