DAY.FIFTY-SIX>I think I need a therapist.

Admiring the beauty of the city makes me realize how much I've forgotten about the beauty on this Island. As I stand outside gazing at the city lights suddenly - don't ask me how - but I notice a type of silence to the city. Yes, it was Tuesday but there seemed something serene about it. As if it was kind of looking for it and suddenly for a brief moment it had found it's silence. Even the city needs to think sometimes. Needs to breathe and take a step back. But so do we.

I'm fascinated by simple things. And confused by things that seem so complex. Simple things meaning the fact that we are alive. Complex things meaning how we make being alive so difficult. I've been thinking a lot about why we live our lives the way we do. You know, the constant struggle for power, money, friends, a higher status in society. And even things like an increasing drain on our emotions - struggling so hard to find that missing peace. Knowing that it is something out of reach but trying ever so hard to grasp it, convinced we know better.

I think that I've become a little detached. I think it's a good thing. Others might not. The thing is, I used to really be a product of society and still am in many ways but I do not want what they tell me to want anymore. I'm not captivated by the same products, money holds no value to me, conversation is lackluster at best. There is a problem somewhere in there and all fingers point to me. Maybe I'm crazy, maybe that's the way to be. All I know is that I have no doubt in my mind why I'm here and what I live for and the picture paints itself another coat, clearer and clearer as the days go by. And it's such a cool thing to watch but a phenomenal thing to be a part of.